


Christmas Bundling

by alyjude_sideburns



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 10:43:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyjude_sideburns/pseuds/alyjude_sideburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Rodney get stuck in the snow (very original ::snerk::)</p><p>Originally published in 2008</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Bundling

**Author's Note:**

> Sheafrotherdon is having an SGA Baby, It's Cold Outside Fest over at her live journal, so I wrote this - if you'd like to read it with cover art - you can find it here: http://tinyurl.com/3uhmztu

**Christmas Bundling by Sideburns**

 

"It wasn't even a deer!"

"I know." The voice that answered was weary.

"I could understand our predicament if it had been a deer. Hell, even a rabbit or a fox, or maybe a wolf--"

"There aren't any wolves around here, nor deer either, McKay."

"That's my freaking point!" Rodney, hearing the whine, lowered his voice since he thought it would sound more menacing. "It wasn't even a squirrel and there are definitely squirrels all over the place."

John decided not to waste his usual, "Are you nuts?" look on Rodney, he'd just ignore it anyway, so instead asked, again with a touch of weariness in his voice, "Just how long am I going to have to listen to everything it *wasn't* that I *didn't* hit, McKay?"

"Well, since I seriously doubt that we're going to be beamed out in the nick of time on this one, or that we could possibly walk out, then you're going to have to listen to the fact that it wasn't even a fucking bird until I draw my last breath. Happy now?"

Huffing out air cold enough to freeze mid-huff - okay, he was starting to exaggerate like McKay - he'd obviously been around him far too long. Where was he again? Oh, yeah. Stuck in the snow with Rodney.

Was he having fun yet?

"Now Rodney," he said in a voice meant to placate, "your sister knows where we went shopping, what time we'd be back and the roads we'd take. When we don't show up, they'll start looking, get the snow plows out, and before I kill you so you can *take* that last breath, we'll be safe and sound at the house with Madison on my knee and a cup of spiked hot chocolate in your hand."

Rodney turned in the seat to stare at Sheppard and, after a few shocked moments, declared, "Do you realize you just used seventy-two words? Seventy-two! That has to be some kind of record."

"It was seventy-three - and I'm shutting up - now." John didn't have to look at his friend to know he was mentally reviewing his word count in an effort to prove John wrong.

"Wow," Rodney finally said. "It *was* seventy-three."

John just sighed. At least Rodney was getting better at admitting when he was wrong - in an off-handed, "I can't believe you did that" kind of way.

Fifteen minutes went by - but not necessarily silently. Approximately every five of those fifteen, Rodney tried his door and, every single time, the same thing happened: nothing. Finally John reminded him dryly, "Snow bank, Rodney."

"I know it's a snow bank. Canadian here."

"Then why do you keep trying to open your door into it?"

"Because I figure with all the words you've spent, which took a lot of hot air, maybe the snow's melted a bit."

"Was that 'full of hot air' an insult?"

"If the air fits...."

"Yeah? Well, I must have borrowed yours this morning," John snarked back.

"It's a good thing you're my best friend," Rodney muttered.

John shot him a surprised look. "I am?"

"Oh, like you didn't know? Don't worry, no expectations here, and yes, I realize Ronon is yours, and that's fine."

Rodney was staring straight ahead now, arms wrapped snugly around his body as he rocked back and forth in an effort to keep warm. Something about the sudden tenseness in his shoulders told John that Rodney had just let slip a piece of information he would have preferred to keep to himself - forever.

Sometimes the man was just...just...too Rodney.

"Funny, I figured Radek was your best friend," John said thoughtfully.

"Dear God, we sound just like Jeannie and her girlfriends when we were teenagers." In an exaggerated falsetto, Rodney added, "Oh, but Mary, we'll be friends forever and no, Joanie isn't my best friend, you are and I pinky swear it!"

John couldn't help but laugh, thanks not only to the fine mimicking of a teen-aged girl, but the body movements that went with it. "You know, if I had to skid out of control because of a--"

"...an escaped pet turtle."

"...and end up with my side of the car jack-knifed against a tree and the right side against a snow bank, I'm damn glad you're with me. I wouldn't want to spend this time with anyone else."

There was dead silence while John berated himself for letting slip something he'd have preferred to keep to himself - forever, while Rodney digested his statement.

Finally Rodney asked, "Was that an insult or one of those left-handed compliments of yours?"

John could have gone in several different directions with an answer, most of which would have gotten him neatly out of the situation, but maybe because it was so cold, or maybe because it was finally time, he decided to skip making another joke or teasing Rodney further, or even flat out lying. He told the truth instead.

"Technically, it was a selfish compliment." Rodney gave him such a strange look that John was forced to add, "Selfish because I'm glad you're here even though we had an accident and you could have been hurt and things could still get rough before we're found, but a compliment because...I wouldn't want anyone else with me in a jam...or any other time."

John waited.

Rodney unfolded his arms.

Rodney started to jiggle his legs - and then he looked at John, who stared back.

Rodney looked away.

Rodney looked back.

Eyes narrowed in suspicion, he finally asked, "What - precisely - are you saying, Sheppard?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Don't make me hit you."

"Okay..." He put his hands on the steering wheel and squeezed hard as he said tersely, "I want you to let Ronon have Keller."

Eyes widening now, Rodney asked, "Does cold do something to your brain? Am I looking at an Air Force colonel with Brain Freeze, because, hello? I don't see Jennifer in this car, do you? Is she back at my sister's house, sitting warm and snug in front of the fire, gazing at the beautiful Christmas tree? No. So where is she? Oh, yeah, Atlantis, because of all the people I could bring home for Christmas, I asked you, and in my experience, girlfriends don't take kindly to their boyfriends asking their male friends to their sister's house for the holidays instead of them. They tend to get a bit pissed and maybe - maybe even - you know, break up with them."

John's fingers loosened their hold of the wheel and he closed his eyes. He felt his legs start to tremble as he finally opened his eyes to looked at his friend. Voice low and urgent, he asked, "What - precisely - are you saying?"

"Don't make me hit you, Sheppard. I warned you once."

"So...you and Jennifer...and you did ask me to join you--"

"And you never even asked why, let alone, why not Jennifer, did you? No, you just gave me a rather querulous, 'Sure, might as well'."

Several seconds passed before John said, almost conversationally, "You know...with my training and all, well, one way to keep warm in situations like this is to...bundle."

"Actually," Rodney said in his most scientific voice, "bundling is an old custom of courtship where two people share a bed - fully dressed. We don't have a bed--"

"But when we do - neither of us will be in a mood to share it fully dressed, right? Sharing while undressed, now that might be good."

"Right. So in the meantime, we could just...you know, warm each other up, maybe?"

"Yeah, that's sounds good. Maybe even a little...exercise...to get the blood flowing.

"Oh, I like your thinking, McKay."

***

They were just straightening up their clothes, their breath heavy in the car, when four bright lights lit up the inside of the vehicle. Two were white, two flashing red.

John reached over and tugged Rodney's snow jacket tighter around him as he said, "I think we're about to be rescued."

"Timing was perfect," Rodney answered with a sly grin.

"Oh, yeah."

***

John sat on the couch, Madison on his knees. She was in her Christmas pajamas, face alight with the joy that came with Christmas Eve and being surrounded by adults doting on her every move. In the chair by the tree, Rodney sat with a mug of hot chocolate - spiked with Baileys. Kaleb and Jeannie were on the floor in front of the fire.

"So, the rental company will deliver a new car on Friday, then?" Kaleb asked even as he tightened his arm around Jeannie.

"That's what they said, yes," John answered, his eyes glued to Rodney's.

Jeannie, secure in her husband's arms, looked from her brother to John and back again...then smiled softly and said, "Maddie, it's time for bed - especially if we want Santa to come." She looked up at Kaleb and, with that special smile on her face, the one that made Kaleb's blood boil, added, "And I think maybe we should go up now as well, honey."

"Oh, yeah, sure, right. Good idea."

Together, they got to their feet as Madison gave John a big hug, bounced off his lap and ran over to Rodney for a slightly more awkward hug. "good-night, uncle mer! you gotta go to sleep now too or santa won't come, like mommy said."

"We'll be hot on your heels, Madison. Goodnight."

Rodney kissed her cheek just before Jeannie swung her up into her arms and said,"'Night, guys. See you both in the morning." 

John waved as the three turned and headed for the stairs, but he hadn't missed that gleam in Jeannie's eyes. She knew. And approved. Grinning, he sat back and returned his attention to looking at Rodney, who returned to the task of looking at him. They both waited, the sound of the crackling fire setting a counterpoint to the footsteps above them that signified two parents putting their excited child to bed before making their way to their own room. Finally, after the muffled sound of a door shutting, the house was quiet.

Still, both men waited and looked.

After several minutes, John rubbed the side of his nose with one finger and said, "I propose we try out that 'bundling'."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but right there," he pointed at the space in front of the fire. "You and me. Bundling."

"We can call it...Strip Bundling," Rodney offered.

"You know, you really are a genius."

"Duh."

The End

 


End file.
